This one's for Lady Gaga (and you)

To the people who criticized Lady Gaga’s “belly fat"... 

You just perpetuated the impossible, ridiculous, unhealthy—and quite frankly, stupid—societal expectations of what a person should look like. 

Aside from the ludicrous posts and tweets that I read calling attention to Lady Gaga’s “flabby” stomach, I overheard a woman say, “if you’re going to go on national TV and show off your body, at least do some crunches and try make your body look good.” After overhearing that, my blood’s boiling point was lowered to 98.6 degrees, steam was coming out of my ears, and my next blog idea surfaced. 

To be honest, I’m not a huge Lady Gaga fan so I don’t want you to get the idea that I’m writing this because I want to defend HER. I’m writing this because I want to defend EVERYONE. I’m writing this because I want to defend YOU. Yes, even those who publicly shamed her. 

It's comments like the ones about Lady Gaga that trick all of us into thinking that we are what we look like. It's judgmental comments like those that fool us into believing that the pinnacle of our existence is how skinny or fit we can be. It's comments like those that devalue actual health and give space to unhealthy eating practices—whether it is disordered eating or a full blown eating disorder. It's comments like those that provoke feelings of self-hate, depression, and anxiety—not only for those who you share them with but for yourself as well.

The unrealistic standard of beauty may have originated in the media, but its fueled and promulgated by us whenever we talk down about the way a person looks. By speaking negatively about someone's body, you’re giving life to an unrealistic ideal that is hurting you and everyone you know. When you criticize the way a person looks, you’re ultimately stacking your own cards against humanity. And guess what? YOU are a part of humanity. You’re stacking your own cards against yourself. How? Well, when you decide to comment on a person's body, you're reducing everything they are—their amazing human complexity—down to their shape and figure. Whether you like it or not, you've also just reduced yourself. You're making a statement and that statement says, "all your talent, all the good you do, everything you stand for and represent, all your accomplishments, all the things that make you unique, are not as important as how fit or skinny you are." You essentially rob yourself of all the substantial value you bring to this world.

However, just as we can give power to this disparaging standard of beauty, we can also take that power back by changing the messages we spread. You and I both know that you are so much more than a body. There is a depth and a beauty to you that cannot and should not be chiseled down to what size of jeans you wear. We must not chisel anyone else down in the same insidious way because we can't do it to someone else without doing it to ourselves.  

I’m not writing this from a pedestal. I have been the mouth behind TOO MANY unkind comments regarding other people's looks and bodies, so I’m speaking to myself as much as I’m speaking to you. I urge all of us to stand up for ourselves by biting our tongue when we feel inclined to judge another person by their body. It might not seem heroic when you do it, but you truly are changing the world. No one benefited by the rude remarks directed towards Lady Gaga, but we all benefit when we decide to value humans for who they are and not for their bodies. 

    

I'm a hater.

I'm gonna rant.

So I guess the Victoria Secret Fashion Show is tonight?

that's cool..

From what I hear, people are pretty pumped about it. Many have been waiting all year, and I'm pretty sure a few of my friends even had countdown chains. Having observed all the excitement, I realize this post is going to volunteer me as the official "Party Pooper" of the VS fashion show, but I'll take that title with a smile on my face because I honestly can't think of a better party to poop on (too far??).

In a perfect world, I would be able to convince every one of you to watch anything besides the VS fashion show tonight. ANYTHING. Seriously. Even a show I despise like "Duck Dynasty" or "Finding Bigfoot" (incredibly stupid shows, but incredibly noteworthy when compared to nearly-naked girls pacing back and forth on a stage). But since this world is not perfect, I would never achieve such a goal. So instead, I just want to serve as buffer for some of the poison that's going to be put in your minds if you chose to watch those lovely Angels tonight.

I think its important to look at the motive of the show and our motive as viewers. Victoria Secret says the show is just a way for them to promote their holiday sales.

Really?... Well I've never seen even a quarter of the stuff your models are wearing in your actual stores.

Oh, you're selling the black undies that shes wearing under her elaborate costume. Got it. Okay cool. I didn't even see those but I might need to go buy myself a pair of them now.

So....then what is the motive?? I really wish I had an answer for you.

Okay so what about us? Why do we watch it? I'm not aiming this question at men because A) I'm thinking and hoping you don't watch it and B) if you do, we already know exactly why and frankly, its sad to me. But women, why do you want to watch it? I know it's not because you're looking to buy any of that stuff for your mom, or your friend, or even yourself. So why? I really don't get it. It would make sense if you got some meaningful message from it. Or if it was semi hilarious. Or even just good entertainment! But as much as you try and convince yourself that that's what it is, it's not.

Did you know that around 70% of women experience depression just minutes after looking through a fashion magazine. Not clinical depression or anything, but a majority of women have reported that they experience shame, self-loathing, bad body image and feelings of sadness just minutes after looking through a magazine and all the airbrushed "perfect" women that are inside. Guess what? That same exact outcome follows the airing of the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show, so I don't get why anyone would support it.

I've heard a lot of women say that watching it gives them inspiration to get fit and healthy, but I have to laugh at that. Watching it does not inspire you to get healthy. It simply shames you into a few weeks or maybe a month of desperate dieting measures just to try and look like the women you're seeing on the runway. Do you know what those models go through just to get ready for the show? It's nothing healthy and it's nothing you can maintain long term. Adriana Lima (one of the more well-known VS angels), recently opened up about what she does months before the show just to prepare. Starting in August, she begins to work out twice a day everyday, while also being on a very restrictive diet. Then about two weeks before the show she gets put on a liquid diet, no solids. And then about 1 day before the show she consumes absolutely nothing. Not even water, because dehydration--though deadly--allows the models to look even thinner.

I'm not trying to pass judgment on the models, or diagnose them with eating disorders because that's not the purpose of this message. All I'm trying to do is remind the women who may watch tonight, that you aren't supposed to look like the women you are seeing on your screens! They don't even look like that after the show because they were using unrealistic means to get there in the first place. And actually, I'm going to go ahead and extend this message to every woman out there because I know that the media is bombarding us daily with unrealistic expectations of what we should look like. So women, when the body shame thoughts or the obsessive diet thoughts start to creep in (and they will), Please do not submit! Wanting to be healthy is great. In fact, I promote it. But models do not exist to promote healthy, they exist to promote skinny (emaciation even), which is not the same thing. So please separate the two.

The last message I have is for the guys.
I don't know if any of you are as into the show as girls are, so this message might be completely irrelevant to most of you. But if you do like to watch it (or if you are obsessed with models), I just want to urge you, just as I did the women, to remember that you're looking at unrealistic and overly sexualized women. Maybe you just enjoy it, but don't look at these woman and set that same standard for your future or current wife. And whatever you do, don't compare them to other women. It can be so dangerous. If your not careful, it will negatively affect how you see the women in your life, and eventually those women you care about will suffer the affects of it. Maybe just stop looking...

Okay. My rant is over. I obviously hate the VS fashion show (or the whole modeling industry for that matter). I hope I wasn't too harsh. I just care about all of you.

But enjoy the show :)